Dear Jesse,
For a brief time in 2004, I earnestly attempted to build a cosmetic empire through network marketing. You can still find evidence at my parent‘s house.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
I will one day drive a pink Cadillac. And it will have longhorns on the front.
Dear Jesse,
“When choosing a long-term partner…you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.” – Dan Wile.
These 4 Things Kill Relationships
I am your unsolvable problem.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
Every time Phil Collins comes on the radio, I turn it up very loud.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
Today in the pool, I would repeatedly stay under water and hold my breath for as long as I could to drown out the incessant noise coming out of the mouths of your kids. It’s so quiet under water.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinp
They are really becoming proficient little swimmers.
Dear Jesse,
I follow @nappytabs on Instagram.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
The aquarium I got you for your birthday was really for me.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
This morning in the drying rack, I found this: a wine glass and a French press. I should drink more water.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
Today is August 20th. Summer reading ended on August 9th. The librarian informed your son of that today when we went to pick out his book. I don’t have a job, so I should be able to handle the minimal responsibility of remembering when August 9th is. Although, if I had a job, maybe I’d be more up to speed with dates in general.
Also, I’m concerned that a disproportionate number of#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson are library related and that my readers will lose interest.
Dear Jesse,
Today, instead of making dinner, I drove the kids, Wingspan & Banjo, to a nursery where I spent $150 on perennials for the backyard.
Also, you now have to design the websitewww.thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson.com. At your earliest convenience.
Wingspan & Banjo had a great time.
#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
One night last week when you were working late, I had white wine and Reese’s Pieces for dinner. #thingsidontwanttotelljesseinp
Dear Jesse,
I just bought thingsidontwanttotelljesseinpe
Dear Jesse,
Today at Costco, I bought this chicken costume for the baby.#thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
Dear Jesse,
Yesterday, we owed over $40 in library fines. I was like, “I’m an idiot and I do have some overdue books but $40 seems pretty steep.” So I didn’t mention it to you. I did return the 28 books, CDs & DVDs though.
Today, I got this letter from the Denver Public Library (see photo). I just checked our account, and since I returned the DVD they thought I’d stolen or lost, our fines went down to only $10!!
Related, I think I’m going to start a blog “Things I Don’t Want to Tell Jesse In Person.” #thingsidontwanttotelljesseinperson
